This year I turn fifty in October. Sixteenth October to be precise – and I need a plan, badly.
All my life pre-fifty, I have been a drifter: a person with no clear purpose other than to accomplish daily tasks set before her.
I want that changed.
I want my life to take on some meaningful direction. I need a purpose that I could feel good about. And approaching fifty seems like the now or never moment to take that plunge.
Needless to say getting to half a century is a big milestone in anyone’s life. Most approach it with a mix of trepidation and doom.
Trepidation of things to come like wrinkles, stiff joints, weak bladder, restless sleep, brain fog, decreasing collagen and elasticity….the list is truly long and varied…heralding the doom of declining physical and mental faculties.
The sages of the world approach fifty as a powerhouse of wisdom and a license to wag their fingers at numerically lesser aged mortals pointing out the folly of their ways.
And then they are those who go into panic mode, the famously anointed midlife crises. They throw away their family life and everything else they have slowly and steadily built over the years and do a U-turn, abandoning themselves to revisiting the follies of youth.
Being a classic sun sign Libra, I weighed the pros and cons of letting myself feel one way or another as I gradually approach my fiftieth birthday.
I thought hard and truly tried to visualize myself beyond fifty and mulled over the possibilities that presented themselves.
The Zen Yogi
Should I approach my fiftieth with fear of diminishing faculties and expend my energies and focus more on my physical and mental health?
I pictured myself taking up yoga, going on health retreats and doing meditation, eating greens and becoming a total zen person with a lingering smile and constant mellowness.
Hmm. Very tempting.
And to be honest a very sensible approach to fifty and beyond, but at the same time, kind of cliche and boring.